Paging Mr Hitchcock; Ms Hedren's Replacement Waiting

A placid Monday morning in our respective home offices until -

An unearthly screeeech from the downstairs pierces the calm.  SnapDog, probably the world's second largest orange cat, leaps straight up into the air and tears out of my office and down the stairs.  Another shriek, this time one more familiar "What was THAT?!?!" cries the missus.

Now there is thumping and banging and flapping - I come out into the hallway to the top of the stairs to see a large black bird fly headlong into the living room window, from the inside.  I also see said cat leaping and writhing, then he flies into the window, too.

Apparently this poor winged sojourner has tumbled down the chimbly and emerged into the house.  It seems to want out.

The missus encourages me in unambiguous language to bring the situation to an early conclusion.  I point out that this is the highlight of SnapDog's year, fershur, and it would be a damn shame to waste free entertainment, and that her language would embarass a pirate, but alas, this logic goes wasted.  She retreats behind a closed door, mightily imploring me therefrom to, for God's sake, DO SOMETHING.

Armed with a bath towel, I approach the bird's position, now behind the curtain, while Mr Fuzzbutt considers his next attack.  I gently peel the raven (?) from the curtain and call to the Queen of Cowardice to come!  See!  and open the door.  Tippy-toeing and whimpering, she descends, holds the front door open.  "Hurry up!  Come on, get it out of here!!"  okokokok, I'm going. 

After almost 35 years, she had to know what was going happen next.  There's something about a girl flinching, jumping and squealing that just never gets old.

 

Pets

And some people wonder if animals think or have emotions:

The dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The cat's diary:

Day 1833 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed, (or car.....) Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty I am. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.

March 17

What is Irish and loves to be in the backyard, rain or shine, night or day?

Patty O'Furniture

Truce Between Science and Religion?

" . . . it is the continued unwillingness of most scientists to confront irrational religious claims that threatens both political and educational progress, particularly in the United States.

Science may never be able to answer all questions, but it is healthier to leave some questions unanswered than to fill the voids with nonsense." 

-Raymond D Gastil in the Times

Early Altruism

The grandkids' Tia Molly arrives manana for an all-too-brief visit.  Gabe & Bella are planning every last second of her time.  They've decided, mini-Solomons-like to split her time right down the middle.  

Reviewing with its object the split-second timing required to accomplish his many and varied stops, Gabe paused, then allowed as how "You should probably spend the first day with Bella, 'cause she's only four and it isn't very easy for her to wait."