Roy G Biv & His Not-So-Bright Brother

We got about half an inch of rain yesterday afternoon. We were having a glass of Shiraz as I gave her her weekly thrashing at Cribbage. She got up to close the blinds on the west slider, turned and exclaimed, "Oh!! Look at that!"

The Bleat Goes On

We met with the realtor at the title office yesterday for the multiple-tiple-tiple signatures required even before closing on the house, now tentatively scheduled for Tuesday.

The seller has yet to begin moving his stuff out of the house. We surreptitiously cruise the 'hood, furtively peering at the windows, hoping to see empty rooms. The two junker trucks, the abandoned ice chest, the corral with the forlorn, emaciated horses, all as they have always been. Any way in hell he can get out in five days, with Thanksgiving wedged into the middle?

Hey! Who says I can't write an attractive real estate ad?

Nebraska News

USA Today reports that Tom Larvie faces nine misdemeanor counts of public indecency, having been accused of leaving "greasy graphic imprints of his naked behind - and sometimes his groin - on the windows of stores, churches and schools."

There's a jury pool I would definitely find a way to avoid.

Pinal County Layoffs Delay Closing

We were supposed to close on the new Fools On The Hill manse today, but a delay in the county recorder's office has put us off by probably two weeks. Bummer doubled in that our mortgage rate guarantee expires on the 28th. Costs $100 for a 15-day extension.

I'd required that a height restriction be recorded on the deed and that the two-acre parcel be divided, as I don't have and don't intend to have use for 40,000 square feet of horse corral.

However, the pool was built "too far" west, meaning that in order to get it onto our parcel - and to still meet the county requirement that a parcel be no more than 1% less than an acre - some heroic surveying had to be done, including running the west lot line congruent with the pool fence. Apparently in an unincorporated area of Apache Junction, no setback is required.

The other parcel now looks like a capital L with a real fat vertical stroke and a skinny little 33' X 182' horizontal road easement running along the south of our parcel.

Several facts allayed my concerns: the road has already been built, south of the easement; nothing can be constructed or stored on a road easement; and because of the geography, only javelinas and rattlesnakes are likely to be comfortable clambering into and back out of that area.

The timing stinks, though. Herself will be bringing the Message of Quality Diabetes Care to the good citizens of Warsaw in that time frame, I'll be schooling my buds in the fine points of Road Trip Knucklehead Golf, and we have another week scheduled at the cabin with the Mensan flying in for a cameo appearance. We're staying cool. It will all work out.

Probably

Scenes From A Marriage

Who could have guessed that a morning that started with Her calling out from the kitchen, almost as an afterthought: "Oh! I think I've successfully put the kabosh on you getting a pot bellied pig for your birthday" could cloud over by early afternoon to "Maybe it'll be a good thing after all that we own two houses".

Talk about succinct.

Bad News, More Bad News, and Good News

Michael Feldman reports that the Faux News Service has already proclaimed the Obama administration a failure.

Unemployment is at a 14 year high; but then again

GW Bush's name is soon to be on those roles.

Hell: A Logician Shouldn't Worry

This marvelous meld of physics and scripture was forwarded to me by the smartest woman I know in Florida.

The following was a question on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Tammy during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you', and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then #2 must be true, and I would be sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary to this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, Hell is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct......leaving only Heaven, and incidentally proving the existence of a divine being by way of last night when Tammy kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

An Historic Day

I never thought I'd be grateful to the Cheney-Bush administration, but a large measure of the nation's willingness to embrace a candidate with such an nontraditional appearance and such an unlikely name is due to their relentless cronyisms and contempt for the Constitution.

A writer to the Times noted that, on one day at least, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, jr.'s dream was realized, that a man was "judged by the content of [his] character and not the color of [his] skin".

And on a slightly lesser level of importance, yes, I am breaking with the Times' style editor and continuing the use of 'an' before a hard H. Hey, some changes are just too difficult.

President Barack H Obama

Is this a great country or what?

Some peoples is hard to discussions with

Her: You know, you're getting on my last nerve. I don't like your attitude.

Me: What!? My attitude is fine! You're a little crabby, though.

Her: Me? Crabby! I don't know what gets into you some times. I'm just not in the mood, do you hear me?

Me: Of course I hear you. I'm right here, aren't I? Look! Right here!

Her: You know, you can just go right now and lay in some ditch, some hole, go on, go ahead. Just go lay in a hole some place.

Me: It's lie. Now if you said "Go lay yourself down in some ditch, that would be ok. But what you should have said was "lie".

Her: (FCC regulations prohibit quotations with references to certain acts which are physically impossible anyhow.)