The Keys

We finally took possession Christmas eve day. Our agent called, told us to meet her at the house where she'd give us the keys. We got there, pulled into the driveway, and saw the garage door wide open, as were the double front doors, which had a refrigerator half in and half across the threshold.

Sigh

The now previous owner needed "just a few more hours" to finish moving out - now 36 days after the originally scheduled closing. We agreed, and when we returned late that afternoon, he was gone and had done a fairly good job of getting his stuff out of our house and down the hill to his horse property. Now begins the work.

Like Herding Cats

(Sound of gavel)
The meeting will come to order! Order!

Sir! Stop waving that pistol, sit down and the chair will recognize you.
Ok. Thank you. The Chair recognizes the Cracker from Krakow.

You make a compelling point, sir.
The Goofball from Gdansk proposes that the Knucklehead Golf Group consider paying the +/-$40 half-rack rate and conserve the Eagle Card free round until golf gets more expensive. Is there discussion?

The point is raised that this time of year typically is the most expensive, with rates going down as the temperature goes up. And the Chair asks the Manning Maladroit to refrain from that slanderous type of ad hominem attack on on the Warsaw Wacko, which usage is strictly reserved to the Chair.

Is there any further discussion before a vote is called?

Won't Be As Much Fun With The New Guy

Roy Blount, jr. says several people have wondered out loud to him why, when the Iraqi journalist threw the first shoe at soon-to-be-former President Bush, W didn't stay down when he first ducked?

Mr Blount posits that "he just didn't have time to do the math".

Helping Mr Obama

Somebody's got to do it.

Some patriots have to man-up and get out there and get this economy moving again. We're certainly doing everything we can. Over and above buying a new house, whose fourth scheduled closing date is now Tuesday the 23rd, I bought a new Suburban.

Most interesting is the fact that I got a new 2008 top of the line LTZ for only 3 grand more than I paid for the bottom of the line LT model seven years ago. All in all, I got the dealer to come down 17 grand off the list.

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

Friday, NPR reported that one out of every 31 adult Americans is either in prison or on parole. By far the highest percentage in the world.

And a very young, very talented writer named Rose George has written what sounds to be a fascinating book on a disgusting subject. Her book, called "The Big Necessity" makes mention of the fact that “Cholera and typhoid kill so many kids a year” that it “amounts to two jumbo jets full of children crashing every four hours.”

Let's hope that after January 20 we can begin anew to change this country and maybe help this planet take better care of itself and its neediest denizens.

ME Do Not Possess Clear Vigour

Dear, dear friend Mariusz wrote to correct my posting; while he does not deny that he has a beautiful wife and family, he is not the head of endocrinology, nor does he intend to be.

So I wrote back to him, thanking him for the lovely chocolates he sent and a gorgeous, exotic leather credit card case. He'd inquired after my health, so I updated him thereon and apologized for misstating his case. I thanked him for taking care of my most precious possession (who will not be pleased to know that her name translates into "Wrinkle") and bade him well.

Then, I had an idea! Why not translate the message into Polish, and make it easy on the guy? With all the marvelous tools available on the net, this should be easy! Mmmmm, not so.

When I translate the translation, turns out there are a few bugs in the software engine promoted by Translations Experts Limited: to wit

This cookies are not tasty. This chocolate nut obstruct is not delicious. My worry is not yonder ME will to be item gross as well she will be yours drawback! This elegit credit card case keeps my charter perfectly. Anew I must bidden yonder you and me Capital are not much item bounty. WITH Z something of more earnest promissorynote , ME worry yonder ME may possess resentful withdraw my unreasonable blog. ME branded only vis-a-vis show my distribution for you and me for this working space you do when you receive yes small in return. Please credit my submissive apology as well know yonder ME will be more mindful on this unborn. As Wrinkle my possess bidden you , ME had three surgery on thirteen months : my left rate was rebuilt , something of diverticulectomy ex my bladder , as well utterly ( I`ve to hope for the best! ) my left knee barters on June. ME do not possess clear vigour neither clear mobility on either this rate neither this knee , short of this twinge has diminish with z ninety percentage. As you know , confirmed twinge varies this way one lives one's life , yes ME I'm very pleased to be solvent live my life more this way ME want vis-a-vis. Thank you for yours undertakings , yours arrival , as well yours care for my most precious possession while were on your country is. Warmest several regards

Warmest several regards, indeed.

W

Tuesday is gomer day at the dollar cinema, which means $2/each. We saw W.

I'm not and have never been a fan of Ollie Stone's work, and have avoided it pretty successfully since NBK, so that's been almost fifteen years.

Though subtlety and nuance will likely never find a place in his quiver, Ollie kept the W mellerdrama at a minimum. Only the Condi Rice portrayal seemed over the top. Josh Brolin's Geo was amazingly dead-on. The vocal tics, the shrugs, the goofy sincerity of 44 were all there. When he spake the famous "Is our children learning?" phrase, boy howdy.

From all I've read over the past 7 years 10 months, I think the movie captures the man and those who surround him really well. Highly recommended.

Witnessing Warsaw's Wonders

Herself and her business partner are currently bringing their not inconsiderable expertise to Chopin's fellow citizens. About 14 hours of air time over, two days of lectures, then a bit more than that on the way back, as they must stop in Munich. She e-mailed that she'd been up for more than 24 hours and was thinking of a nap before going back into the almost vowel-less fray.

My dear friend Mariusz met them at the airport and is shepherding them about. M is a brilliant doctor, head of endocrinology for the largest hospital in Poland, which pays him something like the equivalent of $700/month american. He and his beautiful wife and two kids live in a top floor four-room flat with a kitchen roomy enough for one person at a time, almost. A couple email excerpts give a feel for what a sweetie he is:

we are all so excited about K visit to Warsaw. We didn't see you all a few years!
I am writing to you a few infomation for K, because I am not sure if K got my e-mail which I have sent a few days ago to her. A temperature in Poland is +1 od C and there is a little snow in Warsaw, but they say that from Friday it will be a little warmer - but it is better to take some warm clothes. I will wait for K in the Warsaw Airport and I will take them to hotel which is very closed to our home (5 min walking distance).

I often remind my stays at your home and our trip to Grand Canyon and our climbing to pyramids in Mexico.
I hope that in the next future it will be occasion to meet. What a pity that you will not come with K to Poland...

Your friend
Mariusz
P.S. I like your blog but I have problem with my English language and it is a little too difficault for me to understand all you write, but I promise to learn more English

Any problem that there may be is not yours my friend, not at all.

The House Hasn't Closed

And probably won't, as scheduled, on Tuesday -

As best as I understand it, when the house was built, in 2002-3, Pinal County kept construction records on two separate computers. When they decided to consolidate the info onto just one, they - wait for it - lost the data from the computer that had this house's records.

Now comes Mr Garcia who wants to sell his house to me and Herself, excepting "We ain't gots no record of dat dere Ziptic Tank bean approved, bud" is how I'm guessing it went across the gnarled counter of the keeper of the records. Mr G protesteth, and not just a little, subsequent to which he gets the "lost data" story.

Gentle Reader thinks to itself, "Well, how can that be Mr G's problem?"

Because this is Gubmint in the wild west, dammit. And Gubmint tells Mr G he must contract an engineer to re-certify said ziptic tank, e'en though it only last week passed the rigorous sludge depth measurements, intake baffle inspection and cleansing douche of Apache Junction's own Cooper's Sewer & Drain, who pronounced it fit for lots and lots more shit.

Mr G grows weary. Were he flush with tender, he'd not be in the position of giving up the home he built with loving care, no doubt hoping to live there with his (former) dearly beloved and five bedrooms prodigious with progeny. Now he has to pony up - sorry - even more buckolas to get to the closing table. Ahhhh, life. It's bigger. And why can't I stop Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" from playing over and over in my mind?