Repectlessness In Today's Yoots

The Scene: Two best buds in the car, running errands.

Grandfather: So. You been reading a lot so far this summer? Lots of science?Astronomy, cosmology? There's some really neat stuff about to happen with the Large Hadron Collider.

Grandson: Ehhh, not so much.

Gf: What?!! That's no good! Well, at least you've been practicing your math skills, right? Axing yerma to make up some problems, just so you can stay in practice?

Gs: Aw jeeeeezzz, gramps.

Gf: What? What!!! You can't just sit there glued to your DS. Your brain's gonna turn into mush! Just because you're on vacation, doesn't mean your brain can go on vacation!!! Ok. Listen up now. What's three squared?

Gs: Nine

Gf: What's three cubed?

Gs: Twenty-seven

Gf: Good. What's five cubed?

Gs: (long pause) one-twenty-five?

Gf: Excellent! What's . . .

Gs: (interrupting) Gramps!

Gf: What.

Gs: What's seventeen cubed?

Gf: (verrrrry long pause) Uhhhhhhhh. (more pause) Fortyeighthundredandthree?

Gs: (thumbing away on his cell phone) Nope.

Gf: Rats.

Gs: (not making eye contact but grinning like the little demon he is) Maybe somebody else's brain is on vacation this summer?

Then & Now

This is now

That was then

The next time I do one of these, our relative positions likely will have changed.

First Day With The Boat

All in all, a pretty good day.

Paid for it; trailered it to Canyon Lake; fastest ride we've ever had in a boat; which ride was not followed by a ride in an ambulance; nobody went home in tears or bleeding (maybe just a little bleeding); less than $1000 damage done.

And the marriage tested but intact.

Let's see how tomorrow goes.

Much Sooner Than We'd Thought

Hi Honey -

Well, it's happened. We knew this day was coming but certainly didn't think it would be so soon. That's right. The grandkids don't need us any more. Their previously doting mother, your daughter, left G home alone this morning while she and Bellaboo went to B's dentist appointment. And when in my shock and consternation I brought up the likelihood that these children appeared to require gubment intervention, your daughter responded in a most unladylike way. Much like, I guess, you or your other daughter might respond. (They sure didn't get those mouths from me.)

Oh well, it'll be just that more time we have to spend on the boat, and we can bump that decimal point in the groceries budget over one place to the left, since they'll be at their own house, ravaging their parents' pantry like a plague of locusts.

I'll miss them, some day. Probably.

"His Head's On Fire-Get Makeup Over Here!"

The same company that sent her (and me) to Athens last year decided they want her to do a commercial for their product, a new, super thin needle to inject insulin. She's a pretty hard sell, but is pumped about this new needle, and agreed, for a ridiculous amount of money, to be filmed describing the merits of the thing.

She told me they'd be at the house this morning at 7, and at 6:45 they began filling up the drive. By seven there were three cars, a pickup and an SUV, all filled with movie type stuff and people. In they came, very nice, very professional, brisk people who knew just what they wanted. They wanted the ping pong room, sans the table.

They covered the east-facing window inside and out, and set up a faux office as a set. The Girl was fabulous, never missing a beat, not seeming to get tired of doing it over and again.

This was supposed to last three hours. In that time I received two reprimands. One for getting a glass of water from the refrigerator door (!) - "We hear everything" - and again when I returned from the bank for having opened the garage door. I tried to make the point that if I had driven out without opening the door it would have been much noisier still, but was shooed out of the area.

About 11 the cry went out for Fresh Meat. Seems they needed someone besides Herself to demonstrate the ease with which the needle slides in and out of the flesh of someone who looks like a patient. She was rather quick to offer me up, I thought, something about "he oughta be good for something, you'd think."

I was seated, posed, straightened, restraightened, desquinted, and then came the above cry from the producer. I was duly and plentifully powdered. A brief discussion ensued on whether the addition of a hat might be necessary to staunch the glare. Other options considered: "Nope." "Not me!" "You ain't stickin' me with no needle." And in not the first instance ever, I was the last resort.

"DON'T look at the camera. All we need is the needle going into your arm." Six, seven times they needed it. But in truth, I really couldn't feel it. This new needle is really sumpin.

I'll be signing autographs in the hall for a couple hours after the show.