Golf

Those of you who were subjected to Larry Mohr's fanciful recounting of our two rounds of golf in Jamaica are probably puzzled why he has not further honed his reportorial craft recounting the most recent golf road trips he's taken. 

I'm kidding. 

Of course there are reasons, hundreds and hundreds of reasons he hasn't brought up two rounds in southern Arizona nor, most recently, still another embarassing drubbing, this time deep in the heart of Texas.

Settle back then, gentle reader, that I may bring the record current.

The man can hit a golf ball a long way, I've got to say that.  But it seems like every time he hits one of those magnificent drives, "up jump de debil." 

At Tucson's Del Ulrich course on the beautiful Randolph golf complex, Lar drove the green on a pitiably short 4 par, and barely escaped with a par.  At Star Ranch, north of Austin, he powered what may have been a 320 yard drive, right down the center of the fairway.  My drive was only about 290 and slightly right of the cart path.  Be that as it may, both of us hit our second shots exactly the same distance, mine lightly coming to rest like a butterfly, 12 feet short of the pin, from where I two-putted for my par.  After much coarse language and flying sod from somewhere beyond and below the putting surface, Mohr eventually holed out with an 8.

Even though I was off my usual game due to what in any mere mortal would be considered a crippling foot injury, and even though he suspiciously "lost sight of" my fairway-splitting drive on the first hole, I easily took both sides at Star Ranch.  His drive on the 18th hole was followed by a 90 degree shank out of bounds, then by a scuff into a trap, after which I again lost sight of him for a while.  He finally showed up at the green, spitting sand with little wisps of saliva at the corners of his mouth, and took a 9 that so benumbed him that he passed up a free lunch - you read that right, we're talking about our Larry here - that came with our round.

But I gotta say, that guy can really hit the ball.  Sometimes.