The House Hasn't Closed

And probably won't, as scheduled, on Tuesday -

As best as I understand it, when the house was built, in 2002-3, Pinal County kept construction records on two separate computers. When they decided to consolidate the info onto just one, they - wait for it - lost the data from the computer that had this house's records.

Now comes Mr Garcia who wants to sell his house to me and Herself, excepting "We ain't gots no record of dat dere Ziptic Tank bean approved, bud" is how I'm guessing it went across the gnarled counter of the keeper of the records. Mr G protesteth, and not just a little, subsequent to which he gets the "lost data" story.

Gentle Reader thinks to itself, "Well, how can that be Mr G's problem?"

Because this is Gubmint in the wild west, dammit. And Gubmint tells Mr G he must contract an engineer to re-certify said ziptic tank, e'en though it only last week passed the rigorous sludge depth measurements, intake baffle inspection and cleansing douche of Apache Junction's own Cooper's Sewer & Drain, who pronounced it fit for lots and lots more shit.

Mr G grows weary. Were he flush with tender, he'd not be in the position of giving up the home he built with loving care, no doubt hoping to live there with his (former) dearly beloved and five bedrooms prodigious with progeny. Now he has to pony up - sorry - even more buckolas to get to the closing table. Ahhhh, life. It's bigger. And why can't I stop Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" from playing over and over in my mind?