God'll Get Ya

The Blonde's position on organized religion is well known, and not as difficult to elicit as I would prefer in some situations. Therefore, when I learned that her "talk" last night would be in front of 500 of the Canadian faithful at one of those mega churches, and more ominous yet a Babdist mega church, I despaired.

"You be careful, hear?!" I admonished. "No 'godfry daniels', no 'cheese & crackers', none of that. Can you do that? Can you refrain from your refrain?"

She was confident she could, and I felt assured that her professionalism would carry the day, and lo, none of the faithful would be offended. Selah!

So she gets to the venue; enormous video screens on either side of the dais, an orchestra pit for Christ's sake, wireless microphone, dedicated spotlights, a soundboard Springsteen's guy would envy, all the technical hoo-haw it takes to sell religion now days . . . . . . . . . . . and none of it would work. The guys couldn't figure out why it wouldn't work, it just wouldn't.

In lieu of her planned presentation she had to resort to what she calls Hand Puppets.

See? See?!